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5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Relocating and Moving Abroad

Elena Sullivan — Sun, 26 Jul 2026 08:12:31 +0000

Most people think relocation is about choosing a new country. I think relocation is about choosing a completely different everyday life. Everyone talks about how exciting it is to move abroad. They talk about beautiful cities, better weather and food, new opportunities, and starting over. What people don’t talk about nearly enough is what happens after the excitement wears off and real life begins.

I’ve relocated four times in my life, most recently to Costa del Sol in Spain. Along the way I’ve met many people who have also relocated, and I’ve realized that while every story is different, many of the challenges are similar. Today I’d like to share five things that I think many people don’t really consider before deciding to relocate to another city or another country. Because relocation isn’t for everyone. And that’s perfectly okay.

5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Relocating and Moving Abroad

1. Romanticizing Relocation

The biggest mistake people make before relocating is falling in love with an imaginary version of their future life. Relocation is often romanticized because we picture how exciting, beautiful, and fulfilling life will be once we arrive. But if there’s one part of relocation that truly deserves to be romanticized, it’s actually the move itself: the preparations, packing your life into boxes, saying goodbye, traveling, and the feeling of constantly being in motion. There really is something exciting about that stage.

Before social media, relocation was mostly seen as a practical decision, something that many had to do. Today we have unlimited access to information about almost every country in the world, making moving abroad feel far more attainable. We see beautiful places, inspiring lifestyles, and exciting new beginnings, so naturally relocation starts to feel like an adventure. And in many ways it is.

What social media rarely shows is everything that comes after: the paperwork, opening bank accounts, learning how the healthcare system works, figuring out where to shop, getting a drivers’ license and dealing with dozens of small everyday challenges. As your departure date gets closer, excitement naturally builds, often masking the fear and uncertainty of leaving everything familiar behind. The same thing happens during your first months in a new country, when every day brings something new to discover.

But eventually that excitement fades. The romantic version of relocation disappears, and what remains is everyday life. You still have to solve problems, adapt, and slowly build a new normal. So before you decide to relocate, ask yourself one simple question: Am I ready for that part too?

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2. If you’re someone who depends on having a large circle of friends

Once the excitement of relocation begins to settle, another challenge gradually appears, and I think it’s one many people underestimate. If you have a close circle of friends and you’re used to seeing them regularly, relocation can be much harder than you expect.

Building a new social circle takes time. Sometimes two or three years, sometimes even longer. I’ve met people who moved to another country and eventually returned home, not because they disliked the country, but because they never managed to build a community where they truly felt comfortable and accepted. When you relocate, it’s important to understand one thing from the beginning: nobody is waiting for you there. That may sound harsh, but it’s simply reality. People who already live there have their own friends, routines, and lives. Most of them aren’t actively looking to expand their social circle. You’re the one who’s looking.

I don’t say this to discourage you. I say it because understanding this helps set realistic expectations. You’ll have to introduce yourself, make the first move, accept invitations, and sometimes even deal with rejection. In my experience, one of the easiest places to start is the expat community. You’ll already have one thing in common: you’ve all gone through the experience of moving to the same country, and that’s often enough to start a conversation and build new friendships.

3. “I’ll learn the language once I get there.”

Language isn’t what makes the first year hard. It’s everything you can’t do because you don’t yet speak the language.

If you’re starting from scratch, or even with a small vocabulary, it will probably take two or three years before you can comfortably hold a natural conversation in your new language. When I moved to Cancún, Mexico, it took me around three years before I truly felt comfortable speaking Spanish. And that’s despite the fact that I had to use the language regularly for work because I had a photography business there. So, if you’ve already made the decision to relocate, start learning the language before you move. It will make those first months much less overwhelming. And by the way, language is something you can keep learning for the rest of your life. Even after years of living in a country, you’ll still discover new words, new expressions, and new ways people communicate. And I think it’s one of the most rewarding parts of living abroad.

4. Loving a country isn’t enough.

Sometimes we’re simply craving something new: a different culture, architecture, food, or pace of life. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But if what you’re really looking for is novelty, maybe a long trip is enough.

Because relocation isn’t a vacation. It’s moving your entire life to another city or country where, instead of having breakfast served to you while staying at a fancy hotel, you’re figuring out where to buy groceries and making breakfast yourself. A big move will give you new experiences, fresh perspectives, and memories you’ll probably never forget. But it also brings uncertainty, frustration, and moments when you’ll question whether you made the right decision.

There’s a saying that no matter where you go, you take yourself with you. I think there’s a lot of truth in that. Relocation changes your address, but it doesn’t automatically change you. It won’t solve personal problems, erase old habits, or make you a different person. If anything, living in a new country often forces you to get to know yourself even better because everything familiar has disappeared. So if there’s a country you absolutely love, ask yourself this question: Do I really want to build my life there, or do I simply enjoy spending time there?

5. If you’re not ready to adapt, relocation probably isn’t for you.

There’s one mindset that has helped me through every relocation: Assume everything will be different. And when something isn’t, treat it as a pleasant surprise.

If you move to another country, even something as ordinary as grocery shopping becomes completely different. During your first months you’ll probably spend two or three times longer in the supermarket because almost everything is unfamiliar: the products, the brands, the packaging, and often the language. It takes months before you naturally know what you like, where to find it, and what becomes part of your regular routine. It may not sound like a big deal, but when almost every daily task requires extra time and mental energy, it becomes surprisingly exhausting.

People rarely talk about this side of relocation because it’s not glamorous. It’s not the kind of thing you post on Instagram. But these hundreds of small adjustments are what eventually become your everyday life. Technology has made the process much easier. During our first six months in Spain, I would sometimes spend an hour and a half in Mercadona just choosing groceries. Almost every product was unfamiliar, and I wanted to understand what I was buying. Google AI became one of my favorite tools because I could simply take a photo of a product and instantly learn what it was and how people used it. Little things like that made adapting much easier.

At the end of the day, relocation is a long process of adaptation. The more willing you are to embrace the differences instead of constantly comparing them to what you’re used to, the easier that process becomes.

So, is relocation for everyone? Probably not. But neither is staying in the same place just because it’s familiar. Relocation is simply a choice. Like every big decision in life, it comes with trade-offs. There are things you’ll gain, and there are things you’ll lose. The important thing is to understand both before you make that decision.

If you’re already living abroad, I’d love to know what surprised you the most after moving. And if you’re thinking about relocating, tell me where you’re planning to go and what’s motivating your decision.

All images in this article were taken by Elena Sullivan, ArsVie Photo Studio and are protected by copyright. If you are interested in using any of the them, please contact me for permission. Thank you for understanding!

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Daily Routines That Help You Navigate Relocation Abroad and Culture Shock

Elena Sullivan — Fri, 10 Apr 2026 14:45:36 +0000

“How do you eat this? What is this product? Is it good?”

These are the types of questions I find myself asking, sometimes out loud, sometimes through Google, every time I go grocery shopping in Spain. And while it may seem like a small, almost trivial detail, it actually represents something much bigger: the everyday reality of relocation and the process of learning how to settle in abroad.

Thanks to technology, overcoming culture shock, at least when it comes to understanding food and daily essentials, has become easier. But even with all the tools available, the experience itself still requires time, patience, and a willingness to feel unfamiliar.

During the first several months after starting over in a new country, there were moments when I would stand in the middle of the aisle in the grocery stores just a little longer than usual, holding a product in my hands, trying to understand what it was and would it feel familiar, or would become part of my routine.

Trial and error becomes part of the process.

Choosing what will become your favorite food, what fits your routine, what feels comforting, it all takes longer than you expect, and that’s part of adapting to expat life.

Excitement and Reality of Relocating Abroad

When you think about relocation, especially before it happens, it often feels exciting, almost like a new chapter filled with possibility. And that excitement is real. There is a certain thrill in imagining yourself living a different lifestyle in a new culture and environment.

At the same time, the relocation process itself requires intense focus: planning, organizing, calculating, making decisions, and managing countless details. The involvement is both emotional and practical.

And even after the move is complete, that excitement doesn’t disappear. It stays in the background, like a quiet, inspiring rhythm, but now it is mixed with adjustment, learning, and sometimes uncertainty, moments when you might ask yourself, “Am I doing this right?”

I have relocated four times and experienced culture shock in different forms and intensities. Now, together with my husband, I am exploring and learning about life in Spain, continuing this process once again.

The Mistake We Can Make is Waiting to “Feel at Home”

After relocation, I found myself almost waiting to feel at home before fully settling into life. But that feeling didn’t really arrive the way I expected it to.

Relocation forces you to redefine what “home” means. It is no longer just about family and physical space: furniture, design, personal belongings, kitchen items, or favorite smell. It becomes something deeper: a sense of belonging, a rhythm, a connection to your surroundings, and often, a sense of community, including the expat community you may become part of.

And this takes time.

Part of what makes this process challenging is culture shock, that subtle or sometimes overwhelming feeling that everything is slightly off, unfamiliar, or not quite aligned with what you are used to. It can show up in small everyday moments, like navigating a grocery store, understanding social norms, or simply adjusting to a different pace of life. It’s not always dramatic. Sometimes it’s quiet, the feeling that everything around you makes sense to everyone else, but you are still trying to catch up.

In many ways, starting over in a new country allows you to see more clearly what truly creates that feeling of home, because you are building it again from the beginning but it also means that you are moving through that layer of culture shock at the same time.

What I didin’t realize when I did my big adventurous move to Cancun is that waiting to “feel at home” can actually slow the process down. That feeling is not something you passively receive, it is something you actively create through small, repeated actions, through routines and returning to the same places, and through allowing yourself to participate in everyday life even when it still feels unfamiliar.

It might feel uncomfortable at first, going to the same café, walking the same streets, trying to communicate in a language with limited vocabulary you have but those small moments are exactly what begin to soften culture shock and shape a sense of familiarity. There were moments when I wondered if I would ever feel fully comfortable, and yet those same moments were quietly building the foundation for it.

Home is a process.

And the sooner you begin living your life in your new environment, the sooner that quiet sense of belonging begins to form. Because in the end, settling in abroad is not about replacing where you came from it is about slowly allowing a new place to become part of you.

Routines That Actually Help You Overcome Culture Shock

Over time, I realized that what helped me the most was creating small, consistent routines that grounded me in the unfamiliar. These routines became the foundation that allowed me to gradually settle in abroad and feel more connected to my new environment.

Morning Routine

Since 2013, (the year I moved to Cancún,Mexico) morning routines have been one of the most important anchors in my life.

Yoga, running, and working out became consistent elements of my day, and they helped me navigate culture shock not only in the United States but now also while adjusting to life in Spain.

Having a familiar start to your day, either it is movement, reading ( for example “The Women I Think About at Night: Traveling the Paths of My Heroes”), or even a specific breakfast, creates a sense of stability that carries into everything else, especially on days when everything else still feels new.

Familiar Activities

Think about what you enjoyed before your relocation to Spain or somewhere else: sports, art, writing, photography, reading, cooking, going to cafés, yoga, running, dancing, visiting museums, exploring nature, or even simple routines like journaling or taking long walks and continue doing those activities in your new environment.

For me, photography and writing have always been constants.

The difference is that now they are shaped by a new setting, new light, new streets, and new cultural context, which makes them feel both familiar and inspiring at the same time. This combination of familiarity and novelty can feel like a breath of fresh air.

Sometimes, it’s even the smallest details that make a difference. Bringing something as simple as a collection of your favorite coffee mugs can help create that sense of familiarity. The mug you see in the photo below, I got it back in Cancún, and it’s still here with me in Spain. These little details may seem insignificant, but they quietly bring a sense of continuity, something recognizable in a new environment, and in many ways, they help you feel more balanced as you adjust to a new life abroad.

Movement and Repetition

Something as simple as walking the same routes can have a powerful effect.

If your home is within walking distance of grocery stores or cafés, try using the same paths regularly. Over time, these repeated movements create a sense of familiarity and orientation that helps you feel more grounded much faster.

You begin to recognize small details, the same buildings, the same rhythm of the street, familiar faces, and even people walking their dogs and what once felt unfamiliar slowly becomes more comfortable.

It also helps to return to a few “anchor places,” like a favorite café or park, and even go at similar times of day, allowing you to naturally understand the rhythm of your surroundings.

This is one of the simplest yet most effective ways to adjust to expat life.

Creative Outlet

Creativity becomes even more important when you are starting over in a new country.

Writing, photography, painting, music, dance, or any other creative activity allows you to process your experience in a personal and meaningful way. It can also help you connect with your new environment, discover local inspiration, and even meet like-minded people in your community.

Relocation, in many ways, gives you the opportunity to begin certain things from a blank page.

Why not allow yourself to explore something you have always wanted to do? Set aside even just 20–30 minutes a day to practice or experiment. It’s often these small, consistent creative moments that help you feel rooted, inspired, and more at home in your new life.

Language Exposure

Language is one of the most direct ways to connect with a new culture.

If you plan to relocate to Spain, practicing Spanish, even in small, everyday situations can make a big difference. Simple conversations in grocery stores, local fruit shops, or bakeries help you learn the language and also create moments of connection.

Even asking about a pastry in a local bakery can become the beginning of understanding food traditions and cultural nuances.

Connecting with the Expat Community

Finding the right balance between integrating into the local culture and connecting with an expat community can be very helpful, especially during the first year.

Meeting people who share your background can bring a sense of comfort, while building relationships locally helps you feel more integrated.

Platforms like Facebook groups, MeetUp, or InterNations can be useful when looking for connections. For those who relocate to Spain, there are many active groups such as “American Expats on the Costa del Sol,” “Americans Living in Málaga” or “Americans Moving in Spain.”

Relocation abroad is rarely just about changing places, it is about gradually building a new sense of belonging. And while culture shock is part of that process, it is also a sign that you are expanding, adapting, and learning.

You don’t overcome it all at once. You move through it, step by step, routine by routine, until one day, without realizing exactly when it happened, the unfamiliar begins to feel like part of your everyday life.

And that is when you know, you are no longer just visiting. You are living it.

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